Sunday, 9 June 2013

"Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater"


Long, long ago in  ancient Petlokatapolovski, a whole generation of particularly nasty little baby boys saw the light – courtesy of the God of War, Strife, Conflict and General Nastiness. Right from the start they drove their poor mothers up the wall, their dads to drink, and their sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents, not to mention pets, animals (indeed all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small) up the creek …

Eventually the exhausted mothers were on the verge of a massive, nationwide breakdown. They tried everything to calm down the boisterous blighters, apart from corporal punishment, that is, as they were mortally afraid of their offensive offspring. After tearing their hair out, beating their breasts, pouring ash over their heads, they decided unanimously to throw their babies, with the horribly dirty bathwater, into all the rivers criss-crossing the ancient land, so that the kids could have a romp with the crocodiles, alligators, hippopotami and, of course, the odd dinosaur. The mothers desperately needed an hour or two to rest, recuperate and gather their strength for the next round of mothering.

But alas and alack, these indomitable infants terrorised and traumatised the mighty river creatures to such an extent that a massive, thunderous roar went up in  ancient Petlokatapolovski, reaching the furthest corners of the land, echoing and reverberating from rock and mountain top: “MOTHERS, PLEASE OH PLEASE, DON’T THROW YOUR BABIES OUT WITH THE BATHWATER!”

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